I was told I should blog about my experiences with a BRCA2+ mutation and my medical journey. I was hesitant, but when I started journaling, it didn't seem like enough. What was the point for me to get all of these feelings and emotions out if no one else could hear them? If a millennial cries in the woods while no one else is around, does it really make a sound?
Let's start with today and then I'll catch you up.
My prophylactic simple bilateral mastectomy is scheduled for February 8th and I'm scared shitless. (Can I write that? Can you curse on a blog? I don't know the rules, I just know that there are no other words to describe how scared I am.) I'm scared because this is my first major surgery, EVER! How will my body react to pain meds? Usually Benadryl knocks me out...what will happen with a hardcore narcotic? Will I be constipated? Does part of my recovery care include my husband helping me bathe (I can only imagine that it isn't as sexy as it sounds...). Will I be in a lot of pain? Will I cry (just thinking about it makes me cry)? Will I feel bad about myself? Will I feel beautiful? Will the relief of no longer carrying the weight of breast cancer on my soul be so much more greater than all of the fears and pain that it will be worth it?
So...I'm not requesting prayers (if you are a praying person and it makes you feel better to pray - go for it), but I am taking Netflix recommendations. And puzzles; I like the idea of sitting around on pain meds trying to complete a 1,000 piece puzzle that is various shades of blue.
Leave a Reply.
Christina Mallory Chicoraske - a 30 year old, 4th generation Okie, diagnosed BRCA2+ and undergoing a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy. This is the tale of my journey with hopes to inform and encourage other young women searching for answers after a BRCA1/2 gene mutation discovery.