say hello to my georgia o'keeffe

Transvaginal ultrasounds every 6 months,
Doesn't that sounds like fun?!

So, every six months I get to have my ovaries looked at in the most obtrusive way.  And I can say that I know some of the ultrasound techs in a biblical way.  

Yes, it is awkward.

Yes, it is uncomfortable for me and my Georgia O'Keeffe.

Yes, I realize how incredibly important it is for monitoring any signs of ovarian cancer.

NO, it is in no way enjoyable...not even a little bit.  (especially the bladder pressure part - bless you preggos in the world.)

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Because of my BRCA2 mutation I have a > 27% chance to develop ovarian cancer in my lifetime, with a greater chance once I cross over age 70.  Those numbers are not as terrifying as the breast cancer chances (>87%).  I have no family history of ovarian cancer.  Most the women in my family have had early hysterectomies due to other health problems so they didn't quite make it to the prime ovarian cancer time and literally removed their cancer chances.  The transvaginal ultrasound, combined with screening blood tests, are the best way to monitor ovaries and be able to detect any cancer action.  Every six months, I go in to have a wand check out the most intimate part of my body and then wait patiently for the results.  At the end of the day, the ultrasound is not as bad as cancer and I KNOW this, but it's still not fun and I wish there was another way to monitor.  It seems that all the options to help women monitor their cancer risks are very obtrusive and down right cruel.  Probes and menopause...not fun.  Also, for women who have had children or who are wanting to have children, this could be a very difficult decision to make.

​I'm going to be super honest with you right now:
​Tim and I don't want to have kids. We didn't when we started dating.  We didn't when we got married.  We didn't at Christmas.  We didn't yesterday.  And we don't today.  

We've been told we are selfish.  We have been told that having children is the biggest blessing in the world.  We have been told we will regret it one day. 

I'm sure all of those things are true, but I also think it's selfish to only have kids so I have someone to take care of me when I'm old.  I also think that once people have kids, they spend all of their extra energy trying to figure out how to get rid of their kids.  So, yeah...we are selfish.

All that is being said to let you know that as soon as a doctor told me that I would need to have my ovaries removed I PUMPED THE BREAKS SOOOO HARD!  But what if I need to use those one day?  What if Tim and I just wake up on a random Tuesday and decide we want to have children but don't want to adopt?  What if I really wanted stretch marks and a human parasite sucking all of my energy and money until the day I day.

AND THEN I CALMED DOWN and reminded myself that having children is not one of my life goals or priorities.  I feel more of a connection to puppies than I do babies.  [Please know that I do not hate children or babies, I love them.  I just don't want them for myself.  Just like leather leggings - I love how they look on some people and I am not one of those people.]

And then they told me about menopause.

So, now removing my ovaries will be a decision down the road.  If it didn't force me into menopause, I would say GO FOR IT, but I'm 30 and a newlywed.  I'm pretty sure my husband appreciates this decision because the alternative would be using lube made out of yams.

​It's almost that time of year for my biannual transvaginal ultrasound.  I'll let you know how that goes!  First, I need to make a waxing appointment.  Gotta make sure my Georgia O'Keeffe is as neat and tidy as possible.